A wise man once said that patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. I always believed that I understood what he meant. I thought that he spoke of suffering; that one must sacrifice so that he may eventually prosper. I told myself that I wanted to be a writer, and that the yearning in my chest was the pain I had to endure in order to succeed. Because of this, I spent years fighting against a loneliness so encompassing that I could feel it in my bones. Then I met you. And I realised that I was wrong. It took my twenty-eight years to understand that the hole in my chest was the bitterness of waiting to meet someone who could take my breath away; and that there is no fruit as sweet as falling for a woman as beautiful as you.
It started with a photograph. Until then I had always considered myself a hopeless romantic. I thought that I would meet a girl and we’d hit it off right from the start. I dreamed that we’d bump into each other in the street, or meet through friends of a friend. I told myself that our conversation would flow easily; I would smile and say something clever, and as she laughed I would realise that our souls were destined to become intertwined.
I never imagined that I would stumble upon your photograph and feel a breath catch in the back of my throat. I didn’t think that I would spend weeks trying to introduce myself, before finally sending you an awkward message that just said hi. You were never meant to respond. You were gorgeous. I was just an ordinary man who felt his hands shake and his heart skip a beat when he saw you smile. But you wrote back and jokingly thanked me for not asking to see your feet. You seemed nonplussed by my awkward introduction, and as we spoke I realized that the beauty within you was even more incredible than the image that had captured my attention.
Since then we have spoken every day. With each conversation, I have learned more about who you are. I can remember your birthday, your favourite flowers, and the first time that you called me babe. I don’t think you meant it how I hope that you did. It was just an expression that you uttered without realising that it would make me stumble and fall head over heels for you.
But, while I’ve learned so much, I have said some stupid things too. I told you that I wanted to be your boyfriend; and you laughed and offered a polite no. It was naïve to say what I did. I know that I have found you at your lowest; when you are trying to find yourself. I understand that the timing is so wrong; but the butterflies in my stomach when I think about you just feel so damn right.
I’m not writing this to say that I love you. We have really only just met. I’m just trying to find a way to tell you that you are a drop of honey that has fallen into my soul. The sweetness of your smile and the subtle touch of your kiss have stirred awake a part of me that I never knew existed.
You are a warm glow that has spread through my chest, and down the length of my limbs. I don’t love you. Not yet. But I know that I could be the single greatest thing that has ever happened in your life. If you gave me half a chance I would be the man who picked you up at 3am and dropped you home, and who carried your shoes inside when your feet hurt. I’d be the man who rubs your tummy when you’re sick, or writes terrible stories about your dog to make you laugh. And you…
…You would be my Lacuna.
I’ve been in love before. I still have the scars to prove it. I’ve never told you this; but it’s something that we both have in common. I found a girl that I assumed I would grow old with; she left me, and I thought that I would always be alone. But then came that drop of honey: the warm amber glow that lit up my soul when I saw you smiling in a photograph and realised that all hope was not lost.
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this; or if I’ll ever get a chance to buy you flowers, to celebrate Christmas a day early, or to make your next birthday the most incredible one that you have ever had. I really hope that I do. I hope that when you find yourself again and you’re ready to open your heart, you remember that awkward message that brought me into your life. I’m not asking you to rush; I’m telling you to take your time. If I can have some fun with you, and make you smile until then, I’ll be the happiest man alive.
But if I never get a chance to show you just how much you could mean to me, and what it feels like to know that you’re no longer wasting your time: I want to thank you all the same. We may have only just met, but you’ve already taught me that there is no fruit as sweet as falling for someone as incredible as you. You’re the woman that made me realise how wonderful it is to feel a swarm of nervous butterflies in my stomach. You are the drop of honey that warmed my soul.
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The Renegade Press 
Beautiful! So romantic, dripping honey all through the piece! Hope you find your happiness! Good luck!
This is lovely, Nicholas. Butterflies are always a good sign. I hope she reads it and that it makes her feel them too.
Wow, that was an incredibly rich piece. The emotion was beautifully conveyed.
The description of the moment of limerance combined with the refusal to accept that moment by the object of desire are perfectly captured. This lets the audience know that no matter the outcome you are changed for good while also sharing your frustration in a creative way – well done! My inner romantic is cheering.
This was a lovely post to read so thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us. I hope that she does read it one day and that she feels the same; I wish you all the very best 😊
Beautifully written
This was a beautiful piece.
Sometimes, putting ourselves out there for love, that’s the hardest step to take, and, it won’t matter the outcome, so long as you’d taken that very step forward, allowing love, to enter into your lives, then, there’s nothing you need to regret, even if the romances you were in don’t quite work out, you just, hadn’t met the right woman for you yet, and, I’m more than certain, that that right woman who’s meant to love you for life is somewhere down the road from where you are, you just hadn’t found her yet, so, keep going in your life, and one day, you shall, bump into her, and, she’s going to, give you the love you deserved!
So well expressed Chris. I enjoyed the read.
Don’t know what to write . You’ve conveyed it beautifully . Here is hoping she reads it.
*swoon* Can you just go ahead and write a romance novel now? I think you’ve got the jist here.
Great piece, Chris! You are surely INFJ. Put on your seat belt, my friend. It’s a terrifying, exhilarating process! Slowly peel back the layers of your onion to see if it’s right. Relish the journey!!
Beautifully capture the beauty of serendipitous first encounters that are to be cherished, in and of themselves.
This is a wonderfully written outpouring of love. You words have a magic all their own 🙂
Touching, because we all have tasted a drop of honey. It helps us see the flowers. Beautiful words of art.
When it comes from the heart, it is flawless. You have proven that so many times. Beautiful.
I started reading this and thought that it would be about how, when you met a girl, you never knew what she would come to mean. This is beautiful, but ever so sad. I think this perfectly describes how relationships always go in our head, but never come out the same in real life. I read this and can’t help to wonder “have you actually met this girl in real life?” or “is she sharing the real her with him?”
Perhaps that is just me, coming from a place of loneliness and missing that bit of trust that most seem to have. But it seems like this is playing out just as you expected it would, just digitally.
Touching…clearly you move your readers. I’m one of your many cheerleaders. I hope you find what I found with my husband. We married at 24 years of age and just celebrate 33 years. Sending you a hug
I am glad to read that your heart is opening and hope is flowing in. I agree with the other commentator that a romance novel written like that would be really beautiful.
Best wishes dude!
The best comment that I have read on love is that “Its a beautiful thing, but unfortunately paralysing most people.” Hopefully we all can rise in love and not fall in it.
There are four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love. – Lord Byron
Well written….lots of things to know
Your words are so beautiful and expressive! My romantic soul is honestly touched… I would really love to share this on Twitter, but the @monologuesofawo doesn’t seem to go anywhere. I hope you add it soon so that we can give you some twitter love. ❤
I’d give anything for a man to write for me, to me. To have the temerity to think could be the dollup of honey …just enough to know I might still possibly incite someone’s soecial breed of stomach butterflies.. Ah well, one can always hope. It was a lovely piece.
LK
Wow beautifully written.
Yet another blog post from you which absolutely took my breath away. Your ability to convey emotions is like nothing I’ve ever read before. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to reblog this. (and btw, I hope she returns your feelings one day, you truly deserve it!)
Reblogged this on kirstwrites and commented:
This is lovely. I follow a lot of bloggers but Chris Nicholas is easily the most talented. Follow him. You won’t be disappointed.
I read this first at 8.30 this morning, I’ve come back to it a couple of times because it is so powerful, so real, so like something in my own life that I could never articulate as you have done so here. It has to be fact. If not, then you are one hell of a writer!
A complex experience very nicely expressed with the metaphor of the honey. Well done.
Wow, this was such a beautiful piece to read. When you said “the hole in my chest was the bitterness of waiting to meet someone who could take my breath away” I was in shock by how closely you captured my exact feelings. I truly hope that the woman you write of, gets to read this piece.
Reblogged this on C.
Dude~ That was and is beautiful~
Dude~ That was and is beautiful~
came across your blog from when you liked a post of mine. safe to say i took a quick browse and the words of this caught my eye. i read the whole thing word for word. we are alike, in how we develop feelings for someone. great bit of writing, thank you for this!
This really made me smile, very beautiful indeed.
A wonderful story, told with perfect ease and timing. A scene is set, old and common dilemmas recalled while our mental feet shuffle to keep in touch with the compelling narrative. Ah, such horrors, life’s eternal struggle to balance the yin with the yang, retold in vivid and gut kicking graphic detail. Every now and then you read something that, well, makes you want to read it again and again.
Honey.
a taste, tickling thought.
a Christmas gift
a tomorrow
a together
a gold drop
curved on a lower lip.
a kiss given.
My poor attempt, Chris, to compliment your work in poem form.
You do get us thinking.
That’s wonderfully appreciated.
Now if I could only get my screen reader to let me “follow” your blog. I thought I did it last time I was on your page.
When it came to me that I hadn’t received anything in my email, I came back and found your Honey.
Glad I did.
Dripping with honey. I dig it.
Wow! I could only dream of being able to write like that. You will have a great career! Cheers!
I have felt this before for a girl I wished to live for the rest of my life with. But then she only loved me when I had a girlfriend. As soon as I broke up with my girlfriend she also lost her interest in me.
Such tender, compelling words, Chris. We write best when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. And when we are vulnerable, we are most deserving of love, though we don’t always know what form or shape that love will take. Let your heart stay open, and be present in each moment without thinking of what might be (or might have been), for it is when we focus fully on doing the best we can in just the present moment, whatever is happening, that our tomorrows are the brightest. And thank you for visiting my blog and liking my post about present moment mindfulness as a source of creative inspiration for our writing.
This is brilliantly beautiful, Chris. There is love all around us, in the world today. She will appreciate your patience, and in return offer you a love that you thought could never be found again. I’m hopeful that this is what it will become. 😊
Hey! Would you mind passing along some of that romanticism to my fiancée! All I can say is wow, this really captivated me and took me in. Beautiful. I love the part about bringing the shoes in…awesome job. love it!
That is true and I did not know that it ment that
*checks phone to look for the message, “hi”*….cue laughter
Your soul has depth. Maximum respect.
Almost platonic … almost addressed to everyone!
This is so romantic ❤
Wow! This is super sweet! I hope she’ll read this. ❤