The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

I never really thought that I would understand what it felt like to be happy. When I first started blogging I was a broken man who believed that my time on this earth would be spent wallowing in self-pity as I created manuscripts riddled with despair. But two years ago everything changed. I met you. And you became the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the love of my life: the person that I would fall onto my own sword a thousand times over to protect. You are the woman with the matching little blue hearts tattooed on her ankles; a soul of beauty, compassion and intellect that leaves me weak at the knees.

When we met I was fractured; a horrible man hell bent on his own self-destruction. But from the very first time I placed my hands on your hips and watched as you smiled at me and tucked your hair behind your ears, I knew that you had stolen my heart. I should never have treated you so poorly. I should never have brought tears to your eyes.  I was a fool, but you helped me to become a man. You have always been so patient with me; even when I fucked things up over and over again.

I can never repay you for the kindness that you have given me. You have stood by me through the passing of friends, the chasing of dreams, and those horrible months when I thought that I was dying.  People often say that in their darkest days their loved ones walk beside them. But you never have. In my lowest moments you have carried me; you have been the blood that courses through my veins, and the sun that lights up my world.

You have suffered in silence for so long while I searched for happiness in all the wrong places, and for that I am sorry. I thought that becoming a literary superstar, or landing a new job would make me feel complete. But everything that I have ever needed has been right in front of me since the very first day we met. All I have ever needed is you: the woman with the little blue hearts tattooed on her ankles. You complete me. You make me smile, and you are the most important thing in my world. I would give up everything that I have, throw away my successes, and lay down my pen, just to hold your hand, kiss your lips, and hear you say that you love me.

I want to grow old with you. I want to become your fiancé, your husband, and eventually the father of your children. I want to watch as those little blue hearts fade over time as our years together pass. I want to devote my life to you, and spend the next eighty years repaying you for all the love and kindness that you have given me. I want to kiss you before you roll over and drift off into slumber, or hear you tell me that I chew too loud, or that my clothes don’t match, or that I need to start cleaning up after myself.

I want to give to you the happiness that you have given me. I’m tired of being a wolf. I’m weary of being an eater of worlds. I want to be the apple of your eye, and the man who stands proudly beside you while you achieve your dreams.

But talk is cheap, and actions speak louder than words. I have told you all of this before. So let me sink to my knees, or fall on my sword and swallow my pride. Let me show you that I want to be yours. Let me prove to you that for the rest of my life, I want to be the man hopelessly in love with the woman with the little blue hearts tattooed on her ankles.

57 thoughts on “The Woman With The Little Blue Hearts

    1. Brave to show your hand like this!

  1. Psy says:

    Powerful writing. She must be a lucky lady, congrats!

  2. SOUNDS VERY MUCH LIKE ME. MAYBE I WILL FIND A WAY TO KNOW PEACE AND HAPPYNESS AGAIN. HOWEVER, I AM AFFRAID THAT SHIP HAS SAILED! HOWEVER, I AM GLAD FOR YOU.

  3. And I thought I was a romantic …psh. Brilliant and flawlessly written.

  4. writteningeekblog says:

    This is beautiful.

  5. “I want to grow old with you. I want to become your fiancé, your husband, and eventually the father of your children… Let me sink to my knees,” – sounds like a marriage proposal. Beautiful thoughts, beautifully written. How wonderful to have such a Love in your life! ~ Peri

  6. Miriam says:

    Wow Brought tears to my eyes. You’re a lucky man to have the love of such a woman and she’s lucky to have someone who can write as beautifully and eloquently as you!

  7. Beautiful! A treasure! Keep telling her and showing her over and over 🙂

  8. Dwordslayer says:

    Gosh I am swooning, waiting to hear her say yes…. dam you are good!

  9. middle_class_adventurer says:

    That was beautiful

  10. Very powerful, Chris. You do have the power to evoke emotion with your words.

    1. Thanks Susan, that’s very kind of you to say. This post is an open letter of sorts. Unfortunately it’s about two years overdue. I’m not really sure why it took me so long to open up.

      1. Sometimes when we are going through trying times, it becomes difficult to express how we are feeling. I hope that your circumstances change and that you are finding your way out of the muck. Let your words be your light.

  11. Girl with a Pen says:

    You’re breaking my fragile heart here Chris xoxox

  12. Shy Storyteller says:

    Wow. This is so romantic. Now I wish I had someone in my life who would evoke such powerful feelings in me. You are really lucky Chris. Not just for having such a wonderful girl in your life but also because you appreciate her.

  13. It is wonderful when the person you love can write with such love and beauty. Some go for years maybe even a lifetime and can never express what you have discovered, Well done. :o)

  14. jltsngh says:

    So good. Beautiful writing, Chris.

  15. For men especially, it seems so difficult to open up verbally, to become vulnerable in words. And yet, of course, that’s exactly what women want! And that’s what you have done here, in spades. Funny, just yesterday I wrote my post for tomorrow’s blog – all about a woman looking for a man willing to “talk” his romance. Well, you’re a great example!

  16. Kristine says:

    This is so sweet and well written. You’re both lucky to have each other. It did made me smile upon reading each words. 🙂

  17. Vicki Dau says:

    Was that a marriage proposal? Very beautiful!

  18. Wow. This is so beautiful. My heart has swollen with the warmth and love emanating from these words. Beautifully done.

  19. SS may save me from blogshit.

  20. SS is the only one who can save me from Blogworld.

  21. Lorena says:

    Did you just propose for marriage in a round about way with breathtakingly lofty verbature?
    My heart aches, brimming over with literary fulfillment.
    Thank you and God bless your union

  22. Kindra M. Austin says:

    Oh, I love this!

  23. M.G. David says:

    The epitome of the expression of LOVE. Nothing says it better than a beautifully written composition that clearly comes from the depth of one’s heart.

  24. Roos Ruse says:

    Sounds to me like an offer a woman would seriously consider, including everything I would want to hear in a proposal for a life together. Extraordinarily, honest writing, Sir.

  25. 88kimlaw says:

    Wow this was beautiful!

  26. I think every woman would like to imagine this was written for her.

    Oh snap! What did I do with that tatooist’s card??!

    Seriously, Chris…this brought tears to my heart. Well said.

  27. Beautiful … wish you and your partner all the happiness in the world and more

  28. Excellent, never let up, perfect narrators voice.

  29. SaviSoul says:

    One of the best love letters I’ve ever read, heart and soul.

  30. Daal says:

    So romantic! Swoon!

  31. grevisangel73 says:

    Thanks for following my blog, I am now following yours. I will have to catch up on your posts. This very first entry I have read is simply beautiful. You write with such heartfelt passion and pain.. I hope life is good and love is yours.

  32. boozilla says:

    Your writing is Absolutely Fabulous. Which makes it even more of a Big Thing when I get a ‘like” from you!!! Thank you! and the whole struggle with commodification and the brilliantly named Seven Mundane Concerns….YUCK. Love is so much more important. And so much better for your writing!

  33. heykess says:

    I don’t believe in coincidences … I needed to read this. Thank you

  34. It’s better late than never 😦
    Not good with my words, but I hope you and Sofia will work things out somehow…

  35. Joel F says:

    This is beautiful. You write beautifully.

  36. lghiggins says:

    Beautiful. Keep this at hand to reread when times get tough.

  37. Beautiful, I just clicked on this post because you’d liked my blog, and I am going to read more when I get the chance. I hope she says yes, she sounds like a keeper.

  38. Nam H Nguyen says:

    Beautiful.
    It echoes with authenticity

  39. Carley says:

    Absolutely beautifully written I adore this post and I felt every word that you have written and that I have read.

  40. Beautifully written ❤️ I can tell these are emotions that have surfaced after you may have already ‘lost her’ 💔 I would love to know, did you get the girl with the blue hearts back?

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