‘The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.’
– Hugh Macleod
If you were forced to make a choice between living a life of boredom, or one of loneliness, what would your decision be? Would you choose a stifled existence of mundanity in which you are forced to conform to the whims and needs of the masses? Or would you be comfortable in a life of isolation? Could you find comfort in the knowledge that you will forever be without inspiration, surrounded only by the mediocre and the monotonous? Or would prefer a life of seclusion and segregation?
The truth is that you wouldn’t wish to be afflicted by either. If I pushed you into a corner and forced you to make a choice, you would probably shove me back and call me insane. Why would anyone want to make such a ridiculous decision? No matter what avenue you pursued, you would be damning yourself to a life of frustration. And yet, on a subliminal level many of us have already made this choice. I’ll get to explaining why in a moment, but first I want you to ask yourself what you would decide. When your back is against the wall and you’re forced to decide between being a wolf or a sheep, what are you going to chose?
A life of boredom sounds well… Boring. But a life of loneliness sounds heartbreaking. Only a sadist would wish to spend their life utterly alone.
The human brain is preprogramed to pursue a life of boredom over one of isolation. We rely on chemicals and endorphins flooding our mind in order to feel accomplished. We establish friendships, set achievable goals, and pursue larger dreams so that we can succeed and our minds can be flooded with hormones that leave us feeling contented. Mankind is for lack of a better expression; a reward centric species reliant on self actualization and social fulfillment. On a subconscious level, we have a yearning to fit in, so we create communities of like-mindedness and consume products and ideas that fall in line with our beliefs and ethos.
We move like herds of sheep. Not because we are unable to stand alone, but because we are compelled to move together. Our behavior is indicative of boundless successes and our greatest accomplishments as a species are born out of this togetherness. We are all connected, regardless of colour, orientation, gender or creed.
But this herd like attitude can also lead to a lack of originality. When we all move in the same direction, we all think, feel, and act in an identical manner. We believe that we are exposed to beautiful literature because we are told by our peers that something is groundbreaking or unique. We believe in the faux realities portrayed to us on social media because we are afraid to ask questions. And we fail to understand or appreciate truly original thinking because it doesn’t fall in line with the rinse and repeat mentality of the modern era.
We become bored with ourselves and the world we live in, yet are somehow perplexed as to why anyone would dare to create something new and exciting.
Hold on, let’s take a break for a second. I keep throwing out the expression ‘we’ and yet I have never really subscribed to this type of behaviour. In fact, I have never really found my place within society. I’m still a lone wolf wandering adrift amongst sheep. Even after twenty-seven years of trying to understand myself, I am still the loneliest son of a bitch that I have ever known. Not because I am without peers, but because I don’t share the same ideological constructs or accept the same realities as those around me.
When you break down society into the two categories of sheep and wolves I fall firmly into the classification of the later. I would rather die of heartache than live an existence plagued by boredom. I would rather strive towards greatness than settle for the mundane. And I would rather fight for a dream than be handed a bullshit life suffocated by monotony and tedium on a silver platter. When I look at myself as a man and as a writer, I would rather be a fucking wolf than a goddamn sheep.
But in a world as fickle as this how does one find sanctity in loneliness? How does one chase a dream without succumbing to despair and isolation?
…You can’t. It’s not possible to be a wolf and to stand for what you believe in without learning to grift and grind when life gets tough. I am a twenty-seven year-old writer who suffers from anxiety. Why? Because I want to be something far greater than who I am. I push myself to produce and create so hard that oftentimes I find myself frustrated, angered, or crying in a wardrobe. Shitty literature, tacky mass produced music, and shoddy films break my heart. And the fact that celebrity and marketability has replaced talent and hard work feels like an affront to everything that I stand for.
And yet I write. I keep pushing through the loneliness because I believe that I can be better. I believe that through my words I can change the world. When I first started blogging I was an extremely unhappy, and tremendously lost individual. I was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, floating through an existence that left me feeling broken and unfulfilled. But writing saved me. It became a reason to dream, a reason to love, and a passion to live for. Four years later, The Renegade Press has grown into something far greater than I had ever imagined. What started off as a way for me to embrace my inner wolf and peel off the layers of sheep skin that clung to my frame, has now become a medium through which I can connect with like-minded souls who believe that there is more to life and art than boredom and bullshit.
The price that I have paid to make it as far as I have in this industry (admittedly I’m still scratching at the surface) has been huge. At times I am so fucking lonely that I contemplate quitting. Sometimes I pray that I can start over and decide to be a sheep rather than a wolf. I tell myself that I would be happier if I learned to accept rather than question. But then I look at how far I have come, read the kind words of my readers, and look at my name on the spine of a novel and find my courage return. I am a wolf. And when a wolf finds himself backed into a corner he bares his fangs and fights his way out.
If ideological loneliness and heartbreak is the price that I have to pay to be a writer, then I welcome it with open arms. Because even though loneliness can be devastating, it is better to die having spent one day as a wolf than have lived an entire lifetime as a sheep.
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Excellent. I liked this: it said something to me, I was a sheep for years, while feeling the lonely frustration of knowing I could be better than many of those around me that I aped an affinity with. I started to write in order to feel that wolf part of me, to find out who she was and bring her to life. Words and language are amazing things when used honestly. There is a loneliness within us all I think, an inner wolf that longs to break out of the field and run tirelessly in the forests, finding their own way, even if that has to be alone… I liked this. Thanks, Nell 🙂
I can relate to what you said about pushing through loneliness. Though loneliness isn’t great, there is safety in it. Once in a while, one must make the loneliness be worth something through writing or any other positive form of self-expression. Great read.
A very interesting ‘would you rather’. Loneliness is awful but I agree that mundanity is worse. However in nature, a lone wolf is one pushed from the pack as others feel threatened that they are on the brink of greatness. They then hopefully find other lone wolves and forge their own pack, which is an encouraging thought.
I agree with you girl. Very well said!
Thank you 🙂
Golden middle, always. A bit of boredom a bit of loneliness…But being wolf doesn’t need to be lonely at all. Being sheep doesn’t mean to be bored but unaware…
Yes, writing can be – has to be? – a lonely pursuit. And, yes you could take a binary view of loneliness vs boredom. But sometimes boredom can be good – letting the brain just idle can lead to surprising results – just watch a bored child, driven by boredom to find something to do. So down-time, chilling, just being – alone or with others can be healthy.
And writers are human, with the human need for contact. Making contact and connections with other like-minded – or not so like-minded wolves can lead to forming your own supportive pack and to filling up that creativity well. Yes ‘society’ and the wider world can seem bleak and hopeless and corrupt at times – great swathes of it are -but there are good people -people who know and do what’s right – and writers can be part of that group.
It doesn’t have to be either/or. Take care of yourself.
Love this quote and am definitely a wolf. However, I find myself the “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, getting through particular areas of my life. Seeking that social aspect at times helps to keep the wolf senses perceptive. Be well and write on!
I enjoyed your post and I like being wolfish. It means I have to like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts which I prefer. It makes me a stronger person in general. When the sheeple follow the masses I don’t feel a need to follow them off the cliff. I’ve lost some “friends” this way but then they weren’t really my friends, oh well! Even when the sheep are surrounded by friends and family they often feel alone in a crowd anyways and then agonize over it. It’s better to be the wolf.
Best,
Candice~Marie
Vive la individualism. As J Krishnamurti always emphasized, following the crowd for comfort’s sake leads to conflict between groups, whatever the affiliation. I wholly agree with your comments on mediocrity.
My thoughts were, of course, Wolf/Loneliness, every time. And yet you did a great job presenting the Sheep side, with our propensity for union. Of course, it does not have to be one or the other, but I think you know that. Many times our point is most easily conveyed with stark contrast, when in reality, we exist so largely in the gray. Enjoyed your post, thank you.
Great article. Insightful and interesting. Great style. Looking forward to the next one.
Go Wolf. They are never really lonely. And if ever so, not for very long.
Great post! Me, I’m the wolf. However I’m not lonely. I may be alone but that is by choice. This would be a good discussion topic! Thanks for sharing!
Thought provoking. If I only had the choice of two, I would always opt for loneliness. I can easily make my own entertainment and have never wanted to follow the masses or feel a need to fit in. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of others on occasion, far from it. However, I’m always happy when they leave. Somewhere in the middle works well with me. Balance and harmony.
Even wolves have a pack. Perhaps, you are still searching for yours. Or, perhaps, they are beside you and you have not yet noticed them because they look so similar.
Reblogged this on Artsy Jolie Girl and commented:
*feelings*
Writers can’t be sheep. A writer’s mind would explode into a million colorful words. Sometimes we don’t even have to choose one or the other. We just take a path and find ourselves in the middle wondering if we should go back or move forward.. A mind like this will always want to know what lies ahead. Doesn’t matter who choses to be by our side. In the end, we will continue down the road anyway.
Amazing post.
I’m with you there. I feel more like a wolf than a sheep but I’ve learned to accept it and even embrace it whenever I can. Love your analogies on here with wolves because they happen to be my favorite animal. Once again, your writing is excellent like usual.
You could always join a Wolfpack of fellow wolves 😉
gosh- this is an incredible, thought-provoking piece and a really interesting way to put it. I guess though, my conclusion would be very different- I’m the kind of person that likes to believe you can have it all- so I guess I’d say I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing :p that way I get the best of both worlds :p
Loneliness stops being so lonely after a while….people become exhausting. Keep pushing though!
Really beautifully written.
Social conditioning. It’s how governments and religions herd the masses. Your blog reminded me of this: “The greatest fear in the world is the opinion of others, and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep……. OSHO. Be true to yourself. This quote has been bouncing around twitter lately and it makes so much sense. Keep chasing after it. Fearless wolves lead the pack.
Fuck yes.
Nice work. My wife and I moved country a couple of years ago because we were bored…and there have been times of loneliness we have to work at in the new place…thank goodness we have each other.
You may be alone in some ways, but there are many of us who have also found it preferable to be authentic and true to ourselves than to go numb and be a sheep.
You are alone in excellent company.
The wolf is my spirit animal. It’s also in my last name. I’ve always been a wolf and incredibly lonely. I relate to this closely, except instead of anxiety, I have depression. What I have found in my life journey so far is that wolves also have packs, like-minded members of the same outcast group. So even though we go it alone most of the time, sometimes we are lucky enough to find kindred to share the loneliness with.
Beautiful post! And truly — I’ve already paid the “Lonely” price. From day to day, I’m never sure if I’ve made the right decision; but “the deal is done,” as they say. For me, at least. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Wow! Once again a terrific post full of your signature authenticity. We all know the wolf if stronger and the price of being a sheep is eventual self loathing. I’ve had to make that decision many times and after the initial loneliness comes self love. Thanks for a brilliant post
Great read. The visual of wolves and sheep made this a pretty instinctual message for anyone. This is something I battle all the time, choosing between sheep and wolf.
Another brilliant post. Thank you! You are speaking for many of us who struggle daily with such intense loneliness and isolation from the herd that it makes for a kind of madness. Herman Hesse wrote a ground-breaking novel called Steppenwolf in the early part of the last century describing the ideological and spiritual isolation that inflicts a human being who questions the values of the herd. The outcome for this lone wolf was freedom and ultimately finding wing-space above the crowded bars and playgrounds of humanity. Conformists are grist for the economic and political mill but they make no significant difference. Better to be lonely and make a difference. Yes, there will be plenty of grateful followers but there will also be like-minded and inspirational others who cross your path from time to time and leave behind ideas that echo and chime far more resonantly than the bleats of the mob.
Reblogged this on Catch The Moon, Mary and commented:
Another brilliant post from Chris Nicholas.
This is outstanding! Thank you.
Reblogged this on arwenaragornstar and commented:
Yes, yes, YES! ❤
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone – Goethe
If you learn and know yourself, you aren’t alone. I will howl, thank you
M
My perspective on this read….
Wolf or a sheep ? Interesting choice I would say!..Life is lucky enough to let me play the role of both wolf and sheep and learn the nuances of being there. The one which standsout and speaks for me is the role of the wolf, pushing myself beyond boundaries to find answers for many things in life…and it happened being in a sheep herd… The sheep in the herd saw me as wolf who is silently doing something different from what they percieved”usually a Wolf” will do.They were assured that this wolf is not going to harm them,,by observing what I as a wolf was doing amidst them.
The sheep thought “,Why not see,hear and feel what the wolf does,she seems to be happy and became curious and started following the wolf.
In this journey of life,sheep or wolf, the question arises are you living lilfe as how you want to do and is it benefitting for yourself and the people around you…..
Very well written metaphorical blog!!!…
Hi, I really liked your post. I think people willingly tend to choose “boredom” in our society because it makes them feel safe. But only by fighting everyday we can actually achieve something. And at the end we all die alone, no matter which side we’re on…
So here’s to the fighting wolf! 🙂
The problem with the wolf/sheep decision is that everyone forgets that most wolves live in family packs. They are far from lonely. That said, I once described myself as both deer and wolf. While my body follows the herd, my spirit runs with the wolf.
This is so good, I’m really glad I follow your account. This is one of the greatest works I have ever seen.
I have nominated you for the 3 quotes over 3 days challenge. Should you chose to accept write a post with a quotes over three consective days. Good luck.
I guess there is a reason I have been collecting wolf figurines.
I am absolutely without words. Mind-blowing, from the bottom of my heart you did well !
Agreed. One day as Wolf tops 100 days of sheep! Loved it! Happy to connect ❤
Do check out my writings too, will appreciate your reviews 💕
A thought provoking post. I am a bit of both, sheep and wolf, although I’m a bit of a loner and slightly introverted I definitely wouldn’t blindly follow a pack. I’m strong when I need to be and speak up for what I believe. I’m also content with where I am in ny life. Mostly.
You have taken the words right out of my mouth…or rather my mind…this choked me up…because I feel that “wolf” pain all the time…sometimes it’s so bad I wish I could have been a sheep…but it’s just not me, it was never me, it can’t be me…so I’m back feeling at odds with the world…and man, sometimes it’s so fucking hard…
So, I’m guessing you actually hate Justin Bieber?
I kid. Your words are beautiful, but so lonely. Is there no way to have what you want in this life, to be truly happy, and to still be a writer that dives deeper into what really haunts your heart?
I get what you’re saying, if you had to choose between a wolf and a sheep, a wolf it would be. But I believe there are so many other choices. No one is backing you into a wall, so to speak. I hate to sound like a mom here, but you can be anything you want to be. You’re longing to show your strength and courage, but you don’t have to be alone to do it. Lions have prides, Tigers have streaks, and Humans have friends. Don’t be a wolf. Be a human.
I think you’d be great at it.
An excellent, thought-provoking piece of writing, so much truth and quite deep on several levels. The reality of the matter in relation to the analogy you have given is that most people are definitely sheep, I was a sheep, I am no longer, I find it restrictive, destructive and harmful to my existence and purpose in life. I am now following you, if you have time, pass by mine too. Thanks and take care,
I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing … it’s the worst of both worlds!
First with so many responses I want to get to the Thank you.
Thank you!
Secondly, I have been a writer for nearly twice as long as you and still find myself dealing with the duality of our mutual existence. Today I wrong how careful we must be in Social Media, how clear our words must me or we will just fade into obscurity. I think it started when someone complained that by calling themselves “Sandy” they were receiving sexually explicit posting assuming the original Poster was a female.
They proposed changing their name to Max or Jo…
So far it has been a day of confusion, but the choices you examine are clear. I have always been a spectrum guy, a believer in the pendulum so I can go back over 40 years of assembling words and try to uncover where I was on the wolf sheep spectrum as I wrote.
So thank you again. Well said.
PS: as a fellow blogger, I am impressed at the number of responses and size of your audience. Bravo!