The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.”

–          Alfred Tennyson

Inside the heart of every man and woman lies a little patch of soil. This foundation for the garden bed of our deepest desires sits buried beneath the soft tissue of our atriums and ventricles in a place so sacred we share it only with those worthy of our truest affections. As children our gardens are bare, and we look to those that we love the most to teach us how to bring flowers to bloom. But as we grow and find our place in this world, we begin to cultivate a space that is uniquely our own.

Some people learn quickly; as though horticulture is ingrained into their DNA. They create nurseries bursting with life, or build a bedframe around their plot of dirt, allowing exotic flowers to grow in the empty space where a mattress once was. But some, like me, spend their lives patiently toiling away at an empty plot held together by weather worn timber and rusty nails; determined to grow something more than the florets of a winter’s frost that have settled against the earth.

There have been times when my garden has known the flowers and fragrance of seasonal romance. In my younger years I gave life to blooms that were never meant to last. I knew that my actions were foolish. But with each change of season I learned more about how to nurture the florae that blossomed within my chest. I didn’t realise it then, but as I broke my own heart over and over again, I was preparing myself for something far greater than anything that I had ever known. I was preparing myself for you.

When I was a boy I experienced the blooms of passing fancies. I smelled the scents of fleeting passion and marvelled at the petals of brief affairs. But my garden has never known a flower as beautiful as you…

You came into my life like spores floating on a gentle breeze, burying yourself inside of me with a mischievous smile that you sealed with a kiss. I was so captivated by who you were that I opened my chest, letting you sink beneath my dirt so that your roots could grow. I watered you, and let the sun warm your features until the first tiny green shoots of love grew inside my chest.

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You became the first thing on my mind when I woke each morning, and the last before I fell asleep at night. With each passing thought of you I watched in awe as the flowers of my garden continued to blossom. Some of my thoughts have been more pure than others; I often dream of rubbing your stomach when you’re sick, or sharing in your moments of success and personal growth. But I have also longed to know how your breath catches in your throat when I press my hips hard against yours, or what it feels like to leave goose bumps across your naked body as my lips softly caress your skin.

I know that this sounds scary. Believe me, I’m scared too. But I knew from the moment that I saw you that you were destined to be so much more than just another seasonal romance. 

You are the kindred spirit that I was always meant to find; the flower brought to bloom in the dirt of my soul. The way that my imagination has traversed the contours of your landscape, explored the depths of your heart and mind, and contemplated a future by your side has caused a shift within me. Because of you, what was once a tiny patch of dirt held together by worn timber beams buried in my chest is now a spectacular garden that stretches as far as my mind’s eye can conceive.

Because of you, I stroll through lilies when I picture your smile, or peonies when I remind myself of how I can feel your heart beat through your fingertips when we touch. I smell the allure of roses when I think of the moments of lust that I long to share together, and the fragrance of lavender and honeysuckle when I imagine you asleep beneath my sheets.

I have never known a flower as beautiful as you. I have never met a woman who could smile at me so mischievously and steal my heart. But now that I know how it feels to find someone who can take my breath away, I want to spend forever wandering through my garden, exploring the blooms that you have brought to life within me. I want to spend my life falling in love with the woman that you are every single day, and grow into the man that you need me to be. And I want to smell the subtle scent of lavender and honeysuckle beneath my sheets each morning until our bodies grow old and wrinkly.

I yearn to become lost inside of you, and to find myself again in your sensuousness and beauty. I want to be the flower that blooms within your chest; to be the man who devotes his life to nurturing your mind, holding your heart, and worshiping the intricacies of your flesh. I want to spend our time walking through our gardens, hand in hand, until our souls melt together as one.

We can spend the rest of our lives smelling the fragrance of roses when our bodies collide, or cooling ourselves beneath the shade of palms when we are tired and weary. And when we grow old, we can spend our afternoons lost amongst the fields of lilies that were once nothing more than little patches of soil in our chests. We can watch the setting sun as it sinks beneath the horizon. I can be yours; and you can be mine forever.

24 thoughts on “Forelsket

  1. You are writing very well, but you made curious with your heading in Danish. Any special reason?

    1. Merely that it’s a beautiful word with no English translation. The definition and meaning of Forelsket resonates deeply with me.

      1. Thank you for your explanation. I thought, that the meaning was the same as “In love”.

  2. Nancy Joseph says:

    This is so so beautiful! And so heartfelt!

  3. ktkickass says:

    oohh, I love this so much! This actually made me cry, don’t we all want a love like this! So beautifully written, congratulations! 🙂

  4. floatinggold says:

    Beautiful work!

    (Side note: “And I want smell” you’re missing “to”)

  5. Reblogged this on Liz McLeod Musings on the Day and commented:
    Immeasurably lovely…

  6. This is an astounding work of art, plain and simple.

  7. Love does need to be cultivated and taken care of, and just like gardening, if you don’t look after it, it will become a vast field of nothingness.

  8. U.B Guma says:

    My chest! My chest loves this post!

  9. Suzanne says:

    So touching. Brought tears to my eyes and longing to my heart as I dream I will find my soul mate one day.

  10. Pink says:

    This is incredibly moving.

  11. Eva O'Reilly says:

    Beautiful. Reminded me how wonderful it would be to fall in love again.

  12. Lyrical perfection. Thank you for sharing.

  13. yasb says:

    Great strong writing, it certainly took my breath away! 🙂 We have that word “forelsket” in Swedish too but spelled “förälskad”. I have too missed that word in the English language.

  14. Eryl Shields says:

    You really pushed that metaphor all the way, kudos!

  15. Abby C says:

    Beautifully written. The comparison to a garden is exactly the way I would have expressed it if I had had the words to express those feelings. I hope to one day find the one that brings that garden back to life 🙂

  16. Veorren says:

    Beautiful writing

  17. Beautiful very soulful may your soul love relationship flourish for eternity

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